Thursday, April 28, 2011

I feel so alone.

I do I feel so alone. I know most people are a call away or an email. But I've realized I miss my job, I miss my friends I saw every day at work. I had people stop my my cubical just to talk or see what i was wearing that day or what not. I miss talking to people all day. I also miss getting all dressed up and wearing heals and doing my hair. I miss i think the most is that feeling that I'm a part of something and people depended on me for things. I liked feeling needed. I liked having people to talk to.

Now I am a stay at home mom. I always thought that would be cool, it was something I had wanted. I felt bad having to go back to work and not be there for my baby. But now that I have that I just don't know what to do. I know in the last 6 months I've really sucked at it. I've tried things. I even got a bike and a trailer for Dax. But it's too hot in the day and I just can't ride the bike like i use to. I know he depends on me and needs me but it's not the same. I talk to a 3 year old most all day. It would be nice to talk to someone or hang out. I'm learning that this is something I will have to learn to deal with. My one friend that i really connected with here moved. She is also a Navy wife. Our ward out here is small and full of order people. I can't wait to get to our next command. We should be there for a few years and I plan on making tons of friends. There is a BYU in the area so I'm hoping to make some good friends.

I'm just feeling a little alone for the moment. I hardly see Billy and when he's home he's doing things. I have a 3 year old all day and no friends. Its hard for me to get a job cause of Billy's schedule and our now one car. I'm hoping things look up soon. But for the record, Tennessee lottery I miss you and all your great employees. It was a great almost 4 years!


Heather - said...

I totally know how you feel! Being at home alone w/kids all day is difficult! I think that's why I started blogging.

Miss Alissa said...

lady ... call me! you can call me every day if you want I don't care... I get out of work about 3:30 AZ time ... everybody thinks being a stay at home mom would be cool but it's the hardest job EVER because you are basically all alone - when are you guys headed to Hawaii? You start researching mommy and me classes or stuff there to get you guys out of the house ... or go work at a preschool then you have something to do at least part time and you might be able to get cheaper tuition for little man.