Monday, November 7, 2011

Day 6

Vera is now 6 days old. Coming home has been interesting. First you have Dax. I have been worried about him and these moments. I think he's doing well. The first day we were home two hours and I don't know what came over him but he ripped his bed sheets in half. Yes he is 3 and no his daddy isn't the hulk. So that was out of the blue. I have been trying to make special effort to included him on things and to not hide out in rooms and send him away. When she is sleeping i try to play with him or read books. The first day or so I told him i could play pirates cause i was doing something. He put his head down and dropped what was in his hands and walk away.  A little dramatic but it broke my heart so we played. He's been really good with baby sister and really likes having her around. So with the help of Billy we are trying to be better about that. Its just hard when the build up to this was going to the park every day and going to story time. So it's been crazy having all of us locked up, but it's also getting colder out side and it's just not happening.

Billy has just been a huge help around the house it's just awesome. He's looking out for me and helping get things done. He gets to stay home with me for 14 days.  So he'll have to drive me places when we need to go. Like Vera's dr appt she had and we are getting pictures made this week! He's such a great husband. He has fallen in love with his daughter and can't get enough. He can just watch her sleep. He's so glad that things have gone the way i want he knows its all important to me.

I have been healing great I am able to do most things for my self. I do take it easy cause I still get a bit  swollen in my feet and just tired but it's really been great. Compared to last time when I really couldn't do anything didn't want to eat or drink anything, I had so much extra weight on me I just wasn't in a great state. This time has been great I'm still sore down there and will be for a while, my stitches are sore but otherwise I'm always hungry and losing pounds by the day. So far I have lost 15 pounds and it's been 6 days. Breast feeding has also been something new to me. I tried with Dax and it just wasn't happening. Towards the end of my leave I found a nipple shield. With out this I would not be able to nurse. Its the only way either of them will take. But seeing that I was going back to work in two week I stopped pumping and started formula. Seeing that I get to stay home with the kids this time I plan on nursing for a while. Its been hard she's had her good days and we've had our bad. Staying up all night has been crazy hard running on 2-4 hours of sleep every night to wake up and do it again. Im not  napper I just can't. So time is all we need.

Vera is doing great she's eating alot so I'm hoping by the time her next appt comes she's back to birth weight at least. I love to just watch her I mean she sleeps alot but she's so darn cute. Dax loves it when she looks at him he loves to look at her eyes. With my help I let Dax "hold" her and she just looked up and stared at him. You can tell they are going to get along well.

Juliet the dog. What can I say she's crazy. She didn't really care much while I was pregnant, but I think too we scared her a bit when we left in a hurry but now that we are home she wants to be so motherly to her. When every she cries or starts moving she's there by her side. The first night we were home I was asleep getting ready to wake up and feed her soon. Vera in her bed next to me, Billy on the bed on the computer.  All of a sudden Juliet tries to get in the bassinet. Billy goes to check it out and Vera is choking. Neither of us heard her so now we more alert.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Vera's birth story....

This is my birth story on how Vera came into out family. This is something special and dear to me. I'll warn you now that there might be TMI in this post so just a heads up.  With having  a  VBAC I want to share my story and how it all went down.

October 31

Last after each time I had to get up and pee I would jump back in bed like every other night. But this night  every time I got back in bed I felt a little gush. In the early morning right before Billy got up for work I started having cramps come in and out. They were little but not like able. So I felt that I should get the fluid check to make sure my water bag wasn't leaking.  As we were getting ready to go Billy called and asked if we could bring him his work out bag he forgot. So on to base we went and the whole way there I was still getting these cramps. We get to his work and he was on his way out to go to lunch. Well just our luck his truck wouldn't start. Being in the state i was we really needed his truck to work. So it took a few hours to go to the auto store come back and fix the truck and it still not work.  In the mean time I'm timing these things. Most the time they came in twos and were 8 mins apart then a space of 10-15 then two more.

So we decided to leave the truck there. But on our way out Billy's friends pulled in and offered to fix it for us so we could go to the hospital.  I dropped Dax off at a friend house and off we went. We got to the hospital at 1:30.  When the dr came in and checked me i was a 2. Just to hear that was music. That meant my body was going into labor on its own something I didn't do with Dax. So we walked for a while and they brought me dinner and nothing was happening so we left. I was kinda sad we weren't having a Halloween baby. I was also sad cause I missed out on Halloween with Dax. But i know he had fun with his friends. He was bumble bee from transformers this year.

We picked him up and at this point I'm still having small gushes. He never really told me what it was only what it could be. So we go home and put Dax to bed.  I get in the warm tub cause the contractions were going into my back. Once I got board I got out. As soon as i got out of the tub they were stronger. I came and sat on a puddle pad on the couch while Billy and I watched a movie. I thought maybe I could just sleep on the couch. I started getting really bad contractions. I wasnt' going to time them till tomorrow seeing that most people labor for a few days. Billy was the one who started timing them. Yeah for like 30 mins they were 2 mins apart and intense. Then all of a sudden I sat there to make sure. Yes it was my water broke for real it was about 10 pm. I told Billy and it was on. He got Dax in the car. No pants no shoes... Called two people, got me a towel and we left. I didn't care these things were hurting I got in the car no pants no shoes as well.  The lady who was watching Dax for us was meeting us at the hospital.  The GPS took us somewhere crazy before we got to the hospital. Not cool. So he dropped me off at the emergency room entrance. i had my towel wrapped around me. The door guy took me up stairs. As we went into the L&D area the same nurses were there and in tears i said im back.  This time they knew it was for real.

So i got in the bed and Billy and Dax came in. Dax was only in there for a min so that was good I didn't want him to see me in pain.  He gave me a kiss and said mamas don't cry. When he left i remember him not wanting to leave me. But as soon as he saw his friend's mom he was totally fine. Kids , candy, toys...yeah he's good. So we got ready and answered all the same dumb questions from before.  We got there close to 11pm when things got started.  The pain was so much i really haven't had to deal with this kind of thing before. Well that ended up with me throwing up everything. It took a while to get the epidural, so in that time I had to deal with the contractions. This is where I thought of my friends who do hypnobirthing. I can really see where it can help with birth. The nurses were talking to me and trying to get me to relax and just go with it. I was able to handle the contractions a bit better. Then I told Billy to leave and I got my shot.

We were able to be there all night and rest while my body labored. I was so happy this was all happening but it was so fast. I really didn't think things could progress this quickly. So there i laid for a while.

November 1st

I woke up and things were still going great.  I was still going on my own. This is where I met the two drs that would be here with me. They were both from the hospital on base and both went to UT. So that made Billy happy. The guy dr is a resident here at fort Gordon.  So later in the after noon I was able to get to a 6 all by my self!!!! With Dax I had drugs induce me and take me to an 8.  So seeing that I wanted a VBAC they started off low with 1mg. I think in total they went to 3mg  at the most. In asking most people being induced get like 20mg so i pretty much was still doing this on my own. Even with the epidural i started feeling alot of pressure down there. Then more and more so they gave me a stronger dose of epidural. Let me tell you from the back down i felt nothing!!! I mean i was so worthless in the legs it was funny. So i got all the way to a 10 and we let it be for a while then the pushing would start.

Even thou i had an epidural and i couldn't feel anything my body was still working hard trying to get baby in the right spot. I  am soo tired at this point. So we started pushing and this was about what I thought things were going to be like. Billy got to help and hold one leg while the nurse had the other. We were just moving her down. My epidural at this point is now wearing off. I ended up using the whole bag! So we keep at it and then the call is made and everyone comes in and gets dressed. I really don't know what was going on or who was in there cause I had my eyes closed the whole time. Im not one for blood and needles and stuff but I knew Billy was right there by my side and that's all I needed to know.  I have seen the baby story on TLC I have read everything I could to get ready for this, and it just seemed so different from all that. Funny thing was, it hurt more when I wasn't pushing. But my goodness I for real could have fallen asleep I was so tired. I was really surprised but Billy watched the whole thing! He later informed me of things I didn't realized but her head started to come and they saw her hair and you could tell that Billy was getting excited. It was so sweet that Billy getting excited. Once her head came and then her shoulders I heard her cry. It was just so amazing to know that I just did that. Really i just did that.  I always underestimate what things I can accomplish and this was one of them I really didn't think this was something I could do but there she was crying and getting cleaned off. I didn't know what to expect when she came out (bloody or white stuff) so I told them clean her up and then we will visit. So now that she was out and the other stuff was out they were just cleaning up. I layed there while they did their thing and just cried. Cried cause what I did just hurt and what they were doing hurt and the fact I just had a baby and she had the sweetest cry and it was all over. So many things going threw my head in the end I was just to happy. At this point I just wanted people to stop touching me and get me a juice.  For being my first birth I was told I did great and I did not tear but instead got side lacerations. So I did have to have a few stitches. That was not a great feeling but what choice did i have.

about 30 mins old. I had been crying
30 mins old with he daddy, he's so in love

Everything was looking good. They got everything cleaned up and I told Billy to go look at her. You could tell he was already so in love with her. So much so that he wouldn't come closer to me to let me see....haha he came closer and I got to see her. She is he most perfect thing every. She is so beautiful and I couldn't have been more happy. I had to stay in this room for a few more hours and in that time we got to know our little one. I was so happy that I did not have to have a c section. I was able to get up and walk around just two hours after having her. I didn't have to have a catheter most the time and I was able to have a full hot meal for dinner, where as last time i was on a liquid diet for a while.

Billy left and got Dax closer to 4pm. He brought him to see us. The kid came in the room asking where his baby sister is. He saw me holding her and was like mamas give her back that's my baby sisters. He already knew who she was and like us was already in love with her. It just melted my heart. so he got to kiss her and love on her. This was the next big challenge. Going home with out mama. He did well only cause Vera got him a new toy. But off went the boys and there I was with my new daughter in my arms.

This hospital is a bit different than what i'm use to. It's real small and they don't really have a nursery. So they do everything in your room. If I had known what they were doing i would have gotten more pictures. But there she was getting her first bath and loving it! So around 8pm I was able to go to my room. It was nice and i was able to get some rest.

November 2

We knew she was coming and we knew where we would be but we also knew that it wasn't in the cards for friends or  family to be here with us. So it was strange this time not having anyone come to the hospital to see us but at the same time i feel like from that bed i was sooo busy. So this is the time for recovery. I must say that i can not believe how much better i felt and feel that i did last time. Im able to do so much and worry less on my cut.  I do have those nasty stitches that are not in the greatest of places but no complaints here just need some time to heal.

By this after noon the boys showed up and they did so at just the right time. The photographer came in to my room to take pictures. Yeah another strange thing. She took them with my bed sheets on my bed. They weren't the greatest but they were cute. She wanted way to much for them so we might buy one later. Dax got to lay down with Vera in one of them and boy that kid couldn't have been happier to be touching her. He got a button with that picture on it, so cute. But to see Billy holding her and talking with Dax it was just like wow now there is 4 of us. Its just crazy. So i got to go home the next day.

I'm healing great, feeling good (all except the stitches) .  Just happy. I love the family that I have and cant' wait to see what's in store. The next step with all this is settling down. We are still trying to find that happy medium. Dax is having a bit of a hard time with the new baby but he's just a 3 year old boy with lots of energy. He can't help it. But being home for two hours ands he rips his bed sheets in half?!!! What is that about and how. So me and Billy have alot of work to do on that. Other wise feeding are going great. Im so glad that I am going to be able to nurse my baby. All in all this was a great experience. Im glad not to be pregnant any more and more happy to have this girl in my arms now.

I do have to note that threw this pregnancy and these last two weeks Billy has just been such a huge help with everything. He was so in tuned with me and what was going on the whole time. I do think things would have gone as smoothly with out him. He was by my side the whole time.  He knew Dax was my first priority and was on the ball with him. Made sure the sitters had him and he was good, took him to McDonlads and bought him a movie! I called one night and they were still up at He held my hand the whole time and talked to me the whole time. He told me how proud he was of me over and over and he couldn't believe I did what I did. And that was the best to hear him say. I love him so much and he's so great.

Vera Alta Ledbetter
7 pounds 11 onces
20.5 inches

These are my thoughts on my VBAC:

If we have another child yes I would so do this over again. Not only did I feel more fulfilled as a women but it was just the complete opposite of having a c section. I was able to walk soon after having her, I was able to eat solid foods but one of the most important things was it was more of a bonding experience. I will be able to work out and do things for my self alot sooner than i could last time. I was always worried about my cut.  If we don't have another child then I'm really happy I got to experience what my body was made to do. I have been thinking about this moment since I learned about it soon after I had Dax. But then on the flip side I was really nervous about do this too. Having certain drugs can increase the chances of rupturing your scare from the inside. That was always on my mind but I was confident things were going to be fine. I was able to get a blessing just a few days before so I felt comforted. But yes I am so glad for this chance I had cause I was talking with my husband the other night and we both agreed on this. We both feel a greater bond with Vera compared to Dax's birth. It has nothing to do with him but everything in the birth. We both were more involved so much more with this one. After I had Dax I really didn't fall in love with him for a while. It was great that I had him but I just didn't fall in love and I felt bad. But dealing with the pain and disappointment of the c section it just was like yeah my kid is over there. I put it this way. I walked in to a hospital with no pain, given an epidural, taken to surgery, and handed a baby. I didn't do alot of work, but this time well this time was a lot of work. Every step of the way.